Teamwork

"You say hold on to the reins, i say let them go tonight." ~Live

I spent a long time in this sort of rugged individualism thing, where i would not let anybody help me with anything. Never wanted to be a burden and sort of wanted to be this mysterious loner. Owning a Renaissance Faire has helped to cure me of that. As a human we are part of a community and we really cannot do everything our self. I have had to learn to sometimes let go of the reins and delegate or let the other members of the team have some things to do.

I have been blessed in this endeavor to have an amazing team who all bring something awesome to the table. Phil is pretty much the smart one and the realist. He is a brilliant writer and teacher and one of the best stage combatants i have ever met. When it comes to a vision for a script and a show, he has it. I am always amazed at auditions to watch him direct. When he sees a monologue he can analyze and give feedback that in the course of being with someone for 3 minutes, makes them better and enhances what they have brought to us.

John is our amazing fountain of positivity. No one that i know can help but feel the contagious goodwill and beauty of life that John brings to the table. It is his leadership in rehearsal and powerful good will that has helped our cast buy into what we are trying to create at our show. John can take a bee sting to the head and see the amazing power of that experience and celebrate it.

I feel a little bit like a fulcrum between the two. I can write things down and make people see the passion of my vision, but i can also look back and forth between the two and look without bias at both sides. The three of us as an entertainment department are pretty unstoppable. We do not always agree, but we are a team and we have always been willing to listen and come to common ground, i believe for the most part leaving our egos at the door.

And then there is Andy. There would be no New Jersey Renaissance Faire if it were not for Andy. In the face of having so much to do, he has kept the thing running. He is our business mind and he always finds a way to get done the things that we do not have the capacity to get done. When i get tired and feel like i can't go on, i look at everything that Andy has on his plate and i find a way to continue with the passion and make this thing go. He is also a business man but at the same time you can see that he truly loves the world and tries to make it a better place, while keeping us aware of the reality of making this thing run in a business sense.

But the best team i have ever been privileged to be a part of has been with me all along. I have been blessed from the very beginning with two of the most supportive parents anyone could have hoped for. My father is an amazing woodworker and he can take basically whatever you want and create it for you. He is presently making marquee signs for us at the faire and has been instrumental in getting whatever we need done. He is a genuinely good man and he can fix whatever you need fixed. He is also a simple soul who likes to work in his shop, go fishing and play spider solitaire. He does not need anything fancy and he too is genuinely there for his fellow humans and especially his family. I am always honored to work with him and one of the best times i have had in a long while was hitting the woods and gathering some firewood with him.

And then there is my mother. I do not know a kinder and more loving woman. She truly embodies what a Christian should be. Her faith is about love and caring for people. To her detriment sometimes, she puts others before her self. She is not judgmental and she is truly her fellow brothers or sisters keeper. Her fried egg sandwiches get me through the faire season. She has an intrepid faith and i truly admire that. She does not preach that her way is the best way, she simply lives with compassion and lets those around her watch and because of her, the world is a better place. I am always delighted to see the joy she gets when we open the bed and breakfast that happens at her house when faire season rolls around and these crazy, crazy characters invade her house and home.

I am learning to let myself be helped, by all of these people and more. I also try my hardest to be worthy of the team and the love of all of these people. They are a short part of the list. I feel that i am part of something that is greater than myself that is taking on a momentum of its own. It is amazing to be a part of a community, a family and i am truly thankful to all of those that make that possible.

The Solace of Solitude

I used to go outside into the woods almost every night back when i lived at my parents house. No flashlight, no tools, nothing but myself going out into the bush. It was amazing. I learned out there that the Kingdom of Heaven IS at hand. The angel choirs of crickets, spring peepers, bullfrogs sing constant and persistent praise to the Divine. I was part of that. My self dissolved and my nightly walk was my own song of praise to the gods. I learned out there that Orion is my Brother, the Moon is my Sister and most desired love. The Wind is my brother. The Earth is my Mother and The Sky is my Father in that earthy Aboriginal way. In the darkness of the nights, bathed by stars and moonlight, i am One. Everything is everything else and it is all the same. I have read since then that we are all made up of stars and the stuff of the universe in a scientific way as well. I knew that then as well when i walked through the woods at night.

I have had a long dark valley. I stopped walking in the nighttime. I became too busy, had some relationships along the way that drained me and took away what i am. I became separate in my thought from what was around me. My ego moped. I feel that i am coming back to the place of health that i was in, probably last in 1999. I have found my way home. I owe a lot of that to the Lords of Adventure and the Adventurer's Handbook i wrote with my good friend and twin brother John Williams. I owe a lot of that to an amazing cast at the New Jersey Renaissance Faire. I owe a lot of that to following Bethany Tussings dread locks up a mountain in Colorado and being reminded of the kind of person that i want to be. I owe a lot of it to people that we have been able to help along the way. They were there, in their own pain for me and whether or not they knew it, they pull me up out of my valleys so i could be there for them. We put out a book and an idea of a joyful life that i feel we have to live up to. It is possible to be a decent human being and always try to strive for better than you are this day.

This path has led me to a mountain. I sit in my house on the hill in Lambertville, listening to the stream run over the rocks and feeling the breeze come through my window on this beautiful spring night and i am reminded of how important it is for me to be out in the night. This place is a blessing. It feels like a final step out of the valley into the pure light of day. It is amazing to end a day here. The other night a deer up the hill in the darkness sang her song to me. This place is a solace and a refuge. I am blessed.

Fire

I walk lonely through a forest in the night. All things dissolve into one in the darkness and it is easy to lose yourself out there. The sounds dissolve, the very envelope of your being begins to slip away into the surround and flow beyond its edges. A fire solidifies out of the darkness. It is a warm bubble of self and welcome in the midst of formlessness. Something stirs in me as i look into its dance. I am drawn to that fire like an irresistible force. It is my self coming into focus out of the One. I am moved by feelings of warmth that have not stirred for so long. They have rested and pretended they are not there, but they are and the fire draws them out of the depths of me.

In that bubble of light, there is warmth and there is grace and my alone is shattered as i watch the flames tremble and dance and leap in my presence. It is as if the dance is for me and i sit although i should go. I feel like the selkie who came up out of the sea. There is nothing more beautiful we have on dry land to a creature of the deep. The fire is like a dancing jewel and there is nothing like it in the depths.

No matter how much the fire threatens to consume, i am drawn closer to the danger. The warmth entices me, moves me and i can scarce resist its pull. I am like a moth to the flame and in spite of knowing that i will be burned i fly into its fiery embrace like a willing martyr. I feel the first fingers of flame caress me and i linger too long in their embrace before returning to the reality of the night and the forest. I will remember the warmth and i will certainly dream of the fire.

What a piece of work is a man

"What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me—
nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so."
~William Shakespeare

I am amazed. I sit in rapt awe and gaze hard long at the wonder. People floating as if they weigh nothing or as if the laws of gravity do not apply as they dance and become love in motion. I watch as a man leaps from a cliff and flies like a gliding vulture or diving hawk through canyons and valleys, rising up above the world and embracing eternity. We are an amazing monkey. Do we descend down out of the image of gods and angels or do we rise up out of the dust and likeness of the primate brothers and sisters who walk the forests like our ancestors. I am not sure which is preferable.

There is true delight in all of this. I am witness to something beautiful. You can here it in the voices of angel choirs that sing out of human throats as well or when you watch people risen to eternity in dance or in the notes that are coaxed out of a violin or guitar. We sing constant praises to God as an angel choir at times.

But we are also this quintessence of dust. As much as we can bring the Kingdom of Heaven among us, we can also raise up the lowest pits of Hell. There is a balance in humanity. On one side is the beauty, the art, the love the joy and on the other the pain, the evil, the malice that we as a species do. I see in things like this dance that we can rise up out of the ashes of our lesser selfish selves and become greater than what we are. In every smile there is a chance for us to prove to the universe that watches that we are divine and can keep the world turning in beauty.

"The Way is in the Training" ~Musashi

Greetings Adventurers. Adventure tip of the day: Make a habit of your training, whatever that may be. I start almost every day in my little gym that is pictured above. I get an awesome workout in, usually involving some footwork and shadow boxing, hitting the heavy bag, training on the wooden dummy and then doing a bunch of body weight exercises. I feel so much better when i do this routine than when i do not. I feel alert and ready to go the whole day. I try to get another workout of some kind in later whether it is running, weights or something. An object at rest tends to stay at rest, but an object in motion tends to stay in motion. The more you make your body like energy, the more energy you will have. If you have a desk job, get out of your seat as much as you can and move.

"The way is in the training" as Myamoto Musashi said. Your training has to be effective and you have to get in that habit. It is difficult at first, but once your body adjusts it is even more difficult to stop. Do not make excuses. Move. Get up 15-30 minutes early and get your body moving. I also find that it helps to find something that you truly enjoy doing. If you hate running, you are not going to last long trying to run. This is just as important if you are trying to learn an instrument, a language or any skill. You need to get in the habit of practicing. It was great being in Florida with John Williams. We got up almost every morning and went down to one of the big pavilions in Quiet Waters park and did some training.

If you need some pointers or starter workouts let me know. I have lots of ideas on this subject and love to help people find spiritual and physical health (i really do not believe there is any difference between the two but that is the subject of another blog.)

I hope all is well, continue to strive to be awesome. See you the next time.

People have made the false distinction between mind and body,
as if they are two different things.
There is only one type of stuff in the universe,
and that stuff is energy,
whatever that means.
Matter is merely energy moving at a slower rate.
Make your body like energy.
Get out of your seat,
Move, flow, dance, love.
Everything rises and falls together.
I am a part of the great flow of energy
that runs through everything.
As i still my mind and move my body,
i realize the great truth of the sages,
everything is everything else,
we are all a part of one great field.
As i move and come closer to that state,
i come closer to the Divine.

The Infatuation of Evil

I have been noticing a lot while we have been down in Florida that there is this fascination with evil. A friend of ours had a shirt that said something like, "Who needs a God when you've got a Satan!" We spoke to another girl on the shire on a faire day who was telling us that she is evil. She could not be convinced otherwise, she was evil. She had the black eye liner and deep mope lines to prove it. She is not the only one. Lots of people really really like the bad guy, so why this fascination with evil and being dark and brooding?

I think part of it is that people really do not think about what they are saying and what it actually implies. A lot of the images we think of as evil, like Darth Maul here, i am going to face it, they look really cool. But, it is not really what evil is. Evil in the real world is not just wearing cool make up and a black cape and kicking butt and taking names. Real world evil is much more exemplified by the Senator Palpatine role to stick with Star Wars analogies. Evil is the creepy politician in the background pulling strings and shutting down factory towns to line the pockets of his cronies. Evil is the adult who takes advantage of a child and abuses them because of their position of power. Hitler was evil. I really think that most of these people who claim to be evil do not revel when they think about these things. Does the person who likes Satan hear that her nephew was molested by their local preacher and go, "Yeah Satan!" Does the evil girl from the faire wake up in the morning to find her car stolen and raise the devil horns in the air and cheer, "Yeah evil!" Does the guy who is an evil dude who can't be contained find out his boss is closing down the plant to ship jobs to a sweat shop in Asia and say, "Yes dude, that was so evil!" I really don't think so. But, those are the things that the bad guys really do.



I think what it comes down to is that people are mostly addicted to the mope. We have created a culture that loves to think life sucks. We find the brooding vampire and gaunt pale moping guy sexy. We also idealize the selfish. These two things are coming together to create a pretty miserable society. Very few people are actually decent to each other and we are addicted to our sadness.

We here at the Lords of Adventure (the sword fighting show i do with my buddy John Williams) have fully embraced being good guys. We are also really addicted to the air we breathe and living life to the fullest. I definitely see it taking people by surprise and they don't really know how to deal with it. One thing is for sure, they love it. Being positive and embracing the side of the light is kind of addictive. We have found that on occasion, we will say something like, beautiful morning today! When the mopers have sent us back a "Why is it a good day?" We reply with a truth that is really really primal and deep, "The choice is yours."

That is deeply deeply true. You can choose the type of day you have, you can choose to wallow, or you can choose to live your life deeply and with meaning. Smiling and being positive is actually a lot sexier when you are around it for more than about 2 minutes.

Endorphins

I have been training in the martial arts for a very long time. I have spent thousands of hours in the gym, hitting a bag, sparring, grappling, lifting weights and generally working out. It keeps me in good shape, but honestly, that is a side effect. I have never worked out to be in shape although that is nice. I love that i can run up a set of stairs or play all day with younger cousins or kids that i am teaching and have them get tired way before i do. It is pretty awesome, but truly, that is a nice side effect and not the reason why i keep going back.

The practical side of the training is to improve my martial arts skills. That has always been my quest. The philosophy of Jeet Kune Do is perfect. I see no difference between the spiritual quest and trying to figure out what is the most efficient and effective fighting style. I am a man of peace, make no mistake. It takes way more than it should to drive me to be angry, but i still want to know, honestly if what i am doing works or if there is a better way.

Those are the practical and the side effect, but the addiction runs deeper. Make no mistake, it is an addiction. I need it to feel good as sure as any junkie does. On days that i do not get to go to the gym or get my body moving, i feel groggy and i withdrawal. I love this addiction though. Those endorphins make the world come into focus and when they pump through my veins, i can imagine no sweeter high. I am glad to be an addict in this case.

The thing about the endorphin addiction, and the key that i think makes it a healthy drug, is the fact that you have to strive and work for that high. You do not achieve a state of higher consciousness or feel that runner's high after a single punch or five steps on a run. Opening the door to the gym and stepping in does not put you over the top. You must achieve it and push through the hard parts of the training to arrive at bliss. And that certainly is what it is. There is that point in the work out where everything is flowing smoothly and the body is alive with reaction and action. It is a moving meditation. It is no longer TJ punching the bag when i get to that point, it is just punching of the bag. My ego dissolves away. It is lovely and one of the favorite things i have ever done.

William James said that drugs were a valid form of religious experience. He was right, from what i have heard really, i do not have a lot of experience. I have never needed to because my drug was always found in the sweet sound of flesh pounding into canvas and the music coming out of the speakers. Drugs can do for you what the endorphins do, but it is like the dark side of the force. You do not need to go through the fires and the battles to get there. It is the quick and easy way. The same thing could be seen in the eyes of the people i saw in their cars on Mount Washington in New Hampshire. I had walked there from New Jersey, i arrived on that peak after a grueling day of seventeen miles through the woods. They drove up for a half an hour. They could never feel exactly the same connection and spiritual peace i felt with that mountain, because i mixed more of my labor with her majesty.

I have watched friends who need the drugs. They have to smoke pot, or drink from the bottle they keep ever on hand because they have managed to turn the volume of their lives down. It may have been abuse or a gradual turning away from life living itself over time, but they have found their way to the easy drug. It saddens me a little.

The quick and easy drugs turn the volume of one's life down. The quest to release your own endorphins, the healthy high of your own mind, turns the volume and clarity of life up. It feeds on itself. It is a circle ever returning into itself and it enhances ... everything. I am alive, i am alive. I feel the fire and electric running through my legs of muscles pushed to their limits as i type this and i know it is true. I am alive.

Not saying i would not enjoy a beer right now either. Just saying. That can be awesome too. But, people of the world, find your inner drug and get high on your life. It is pretty awesome, even if you might not think so at the moment.