tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74519672211538543292024-03-12T19:02:02.354-07:00Path of ActionMusings on philosophy, martial arts, music and entertainment.tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-74750250593574229772019-02-21T20:47:00.000-08:002019-02-21T20:47:29.666-08:00Exploding Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RjPtGNJUtsk/XG94CFgHi1I/AAAAAAAAASE/jdiru1lDy7UNkt9WsFPiWzJyot3XiVMHgCLcBGAs/s1600/exploding%2Btime.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RjPtGNJUtsk/XG94CFgHi1I/AAAAAAAAASE/jdiru1lDy7UNkt9WsFPiWzJyot3XiVMHgCLcBGAs/s320/exploding%2Btime.jpg" width="320" height="191" data-original-width="653" data-original-height="390" /></a></div><br />
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"Is it future or is it past?" I walk to my house down the long dark, cool street in Roebling. I am in this moment. The chill of the air, the darkness itself, the slight chirp of my car security system as i double check that it is locked, it is all present. I think back on where i came from. I think back to the journey from Spellbound Brewery in Mount Holly and the taste of a Major Nelson IPA, blue eyes staring back at me and good company, and i realize in stark relief the explosion of time. By explosion i mean taking something to its essence and expanding that out to such a degree that you cannot even begin to see the edges. That is my experience of time. <br />
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We hear it all the time.... time is moving so much faster all the time. It is this idea that as we grow "older" the giant boulder of time picks up speed as it races down the hill to our inevitable end. "Where did the time go?" "You young people never heard of the band Nirvana? Oh i feel so old!" It seems to be the accepted agreement of our shared society's worldview that as we grow older the time seems to pick up speed and fly by. We get closer to our end and the end gets closer to us at an ever racing speed. I don't have that. If anything, to me, the time has been contracting, slowing down and i have theories on why that it. But, as i said, even this journey of less than an hour, from Spellbound Brewery to my home in Roebling, seemed to be unfathomably long. I can't comprehend that the beginning of that ride was merely a half hour ago. <br />
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When you truly live in and embrace the moment this tends to happen. Each day has so many powerful instances of the Now, and if you try to get into each one, each day feels like a very long period of time. I try to live in the moment, and thus, those moments explode for me. This makes things like red lights and the common cold very unbearable. Red lights seem to trail on and on forever for me and there are times i have to focus and think about my breathing or i would get out of my car and run away. When i feel sick i feel like i will never be well again because the days are so infinite and filled with moments that are filled with sickness. I feel when i get sick, which really does not happen often, that sick is where i am and will always be. I would not trade these things because i love this abundance of life i am blessed with based on the embrace of the eternal moment, the now, the present... <br />
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So why does the time seem to rush by at break neck speed for most of us? I think a lot of it is because we wish it on ourselves. We do not tend to live in the moments, but long for the weekend and for things to be over. We wish our lives away. We also tend to look at the whole time line. We have access to all of our memories in this present moment. When you think back to your childhood that is present in this now, and when you put it in the context of years, that 20, 30 or 40 years is an instant as it is recollected. You were right there as that child, and now here you are with decades that have past and in the world of memory it is an instant. These thoughts can overwhelm. When you are five and staring at 80 years ahead of you, the well seems infinitely full, but when you are 60 and feel that immediacy of the memory of 5, then realize there is less time on the back side, you feel that the time has flown by and there is little left. <br />
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It does not have to be this way. If you live in the moment and embrace each one life can give you, an almost infinite well of moments in every single day is available to you. I am so happy i had teachers who pointed this out to me and that i was able to listen. I love getting to the end of a day and not being able to fathom that the morning was in the same 24 hour period. I love a conversation of an hour that has the weight of a year. There is so much. Time is indeed able to explode or contract but it depends on where you put your focus. And for god's sake, stop giving word to the fact that you feel old and that time is flying by. Words have power and they can change your life. <br />
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Embrace the moment my friends, you will be glad you did. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-38327455112608043472018-04-18T22:11:00.001-07:002018-04-18T22:11:19.257-07:00Age and Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JeT6MWtq8Tc/WtgUzWmwvmI/AAAAAAAAARc/YsS22uHEErco84uFuWqxyGHyEav8aobngCLcBGAs/s1600/aging.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JeT6MWtq8Tc/WtgUzWmwvmI/AAAAAAAAARc/YsS22uHEErco84uFuWqxyGHyEav8aobngCLcBGAs/s320/aging.jpg" width="320" height="166" data-original-width="698" data-original-height="362" /></a></div><br />
Giving up age is an interesting thing. When i first did this, i was in college at Rutgers University. I was walking out of Brower Commons and was thinking, as i often did at the time, about Professor Calvin Luther Martin's class on Native American History and i was also fresh off of a birthday party that was just thrown for one of my parents. It was a big one, 40 or 50, at this point it makes no difference to me. But, i watched as they got gag gifts and cards. They said such things as, "Over the hill and picking up speed!" "Hair replacement pills" bottles of candies. And more. Jokes about back aches and how they were on the back side of health and needed to be prepared for all the things we think in our culture go along with that number. As i was walking out of the dining hall that day, i thought about those birthday parties, and what we had talked about in class, and i decided to give up age. It is an easier thing to do when you are what society calls 21. <br />
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We had spoken in those classes of hunting societies in the Paleolithic Age that had no separate words for past, present and future. We talked in class about the nature of time and the fact that if you ask a 2 year old how old they are they will say 2, but if you ask 2 what? they have no idea what you are talking about. Try it yourself. Ask a 2 year old how old they are, they will invariably hold up 2 fingers and tell you they are 2. Then, be a little malicious and ask them 2 what? They have no idea what you are talking about. Then you can suggest things. Are you 2 fire trucks? I had a kid tell me, "yeah, i am 2 fire trucks!" Really excited. They are 2 of everything really. It takes the parties with the cakes and the presents, and the public education with the bells and schedules to indoctrinate them in age and time. It is one of the first boxes everybody wants to put you in when they meet you. I have refused to be placed in that box and it bothers people. According to our world view, it is a fact that cannot be argued. I have had people get really upset when they ask me how old i am, and i say i have no age. <br />
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The way the conversation goes is usually like this... <br />
Person i just met (hereforth referred to as "PERSON") "How old are you?" <br />
Me: "I don't have an age."<br />
Person: "Hahaha... but really how old are you?"<br />
Me: "I gave up age, i don't have one anymore."<br />
Person: "Hahaha, but really how old are you?"<br />
Me: "I am serious, this is really important to me and i have been working on it a long time."<br />
Person: "OK but what year were you born?"<br />
Me: "I know the year, but i don't pay attention to it anymore. Also, since i don't know you, i am not sure you would not tell me the number everybody thinks it should be. I have been working a long time on not knowing that number."<br />
Person: "OK, but you have been on the Earth a certain amount of time. Tell me the year you were born!"<br />
Me: "Look, i have been working a long time on not knowing the number and it is hard. I could give you a range, but i really don't know the number. If i wanted to add it up i could but..."<br />
Person: "But just tell me how old you are!"<br />
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And i have really had people get upset about this, even angry about it. It shakes the foundation of their world. You can see it disturbing them. This does not compute with what they believe and it shakes the foundations of everything that they hold to be true. People have gotten on the verge of violence about it. In our world view, it is a fundamental thing that we do not even question. Of course you have an age! This is a fundamental fact and for some people to suggest that this is not true is difficult to handle. It does not compute and there is no way for this to fit in with what they believe to be fundamental truths of the foundations of reality. In the same way an earthquake shakes the faith in things we think are foundational and real, i have had conversations with people where this age thing of mine is not OK. I tell them that i do not have an age, and they need therapy. That is an exaggeration, but it clearly shakes them and they need to prove that what i am saying is just bunk and a joke of some kind. <br />
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It is also the reason i think, why i have witnessed some people get really excited whenever i have a back ache or they see a grey hair in my beard. Phew... thank god, do you see? He was wrong! He has back pain... guess he is getting old. I have literally had friends who have seen me with a grappling or training injury who think it is funny and i can see the relief in their eyes... and i really understand it. If i am right about this whole age thing, the fundamental foundations of their world view are shaken a little bit. And people do not like that. They do not enjoy when someone shows the chinks in the armor of their fundamental beliefs. <br />
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So what the Hell am i talking about because i really feel like it is misunderstood most of the time. I do not believe that i am not getting older and am not going to die. What i have given up, is age... the measurement, the number of my years. I have grey hairs in my beard and am noticing a thinning of my hair line. Someday i will die. Someday i will not be able to do 12 three minute intense rounds on the punching bag. But.... if you have the number.... if you partake in the labeling of the years you are going to have assumptions that go along with that number. I look at my friends from high school and i have to tell you, this philosophy is working. I also periodically hear from people who saw pictures of me when i started working at Ren Faire and they are shocked that i look just the same. I had a dentist who had my date of birth tell me it was impossible that i had wisdom teeth coming in because that NEVER happens after the age 28 or something. Well... my wisdom tooth that was coming in would beg to disagree. <br />
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Listen, i do not force this philosophy on any of you, but i have to tell you, it has worked for me. And i look forward to being bald and sitting on a porch as a wise old sifu. But i refuse to have the number and if you deal with me, do it without putting me in an age box. Deal with me as i am standing in front of you. And if you want to take this journey, you are going to have to give up the celebration of your ego and the worship of yourself at your yearly celebration. I had that a little easier because i never really much cared for sweets in the first place and was a little uncomfortable at my birthday parties when i was young. But i tell you, it is worth it. My body and my soul is "aging" at my own time and it is not contained by what we think 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 should be. I don't know what that number is and i don't care, i don't traffic in it. The zeitgeist will not willingly let you go from the idea of age and the numbering of your years, but eventually it will relax its claws and let you free. You can too. If you have any questions, let me know, i would love to talk to you about it. <br />
tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-68092735406029654912018-01-30T12:17:00.000-08:002018-01-30T12:17:07.577-08:00Non-Time - The Time Between Days & Dreaming<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_nZE9V3O8zo/WnDQEg6PhLI/AAAAAAAAARI/I79hpiyPM70htDGxwM2Qy1cBGXB0ZPTcQCLcBGAs/s1600/lucid-dreaming-techniques-for-beginners.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_nZE9V3O8zo/WnDQEg6PhLI/AAAAAAAAARI/I79hpiyPM70htDGxwM2Qy1cBGXB0ZPTcQCLcBGAs/s320/lucid-dreaming-techniques-for-beginners.jpg" width="320" height="145" data-original-width="555" data-original-height="252" /></a></div><br />
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I realized something about myself and assumptions i have about my world view last night. I always have considered my day to end when i go to sleep. I have never considered the end of the day to be midnight so if i am writing a journal entry about the day and it is 2 AM when i write it, i will always put the date for the day that standard clock time says ended at 12 midnight. Likewise, the day starts for me when i wake up in the morning. Some of my healthiest feeling times are out in the woods hiking with no artificial light sources and my day tends to start lining up with the day of the sun. When it starts to get dark, i go to sleep and when the sun rises, i return to consciousness. That happens to a lot of people out hiking for long periods on an extended hike. <br />
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I notice even now that when i wrote the last i said, "return to consciousness." That is what i realized last night. I fundamentally believe that but the question is where is the consciousness returning from. My day ends when i pass into sleep and the new day begins when i wake. There is a portion of time, sleep time, dream time if you will, that is not covered in any of my world view's definition of what a day is. That "time" that exists while sleeping is outside of my cycle of days. It is a type of non-time, a veil that exists between the days. <br />
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This is a really fascinating concept to me and jives with the work i have been doing on dreaming and dream recall. There is another place we go to when we are asleep. The rules and flow of time do not follow the rules of our waking selves in that place. I like this concept and am going to keep thinking about it. A big part of my mission in the past few months, and at other times in my life, is to navigate that other place. I want to pierce that veil and bring my conscious self into that dream state, that other non-time that exists in the spaces between the days. <br />
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As a side note, i have had people tell me that i am just wrong about this, the day ends at midnight. That really has nothing to do with anything inherent in the world. It is convention and is convenient for our calendars, but we could have easily chosen something else. Our experience lived as humans really seems to suggest an end or beginning happening at dawn or sunset, or darkness. We can actually experience those things without the aid of a watch. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-12908204536764573962017-03-04T18:46:00.000-08:002017-03-04T18:46:34.360-08:00Anger and Fear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1aspStwzFLk/WLt4u1XpTeI/AAAAAAAAAQg/zaH8i695yFEkUzvJDQQG3Ef_g9QgYqwswCLcB/s1600/angry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1aspStwzFLk/WLt4u1XpTeI/AAAAAAAAAQg/zaH8i695yFEkUzvJDQQG3Ef_g9QgYqwswCLcB/s320/angry.jpg" width="320" height="222" /></a></div><br />
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I was once at a Paul Vunak seminar and he said there are two things that will make you not do what you have trained to do in a fight. Those two mind killers are fear and anger. That is not to say you are not going to win necessarily, but you are not going to do the efficient practical things you trained to do if you fly into a rage or freeze up in terror. Bear in mind this is not the same as aggression. You can be aggressive without being angry. A lion taking down a zebra is not angry at the zebra. It is very aggressive but it is not mad at the zebra, that zebra is dinner and lions love dinner. Michael Jordan was very aggressive on the basketball court but he was not angry about it. When you get angry or scared it is difficult to act rationally and intelligently. It is easy to do something you will regret when you are in that mind state because your primal instincts and id takes over. <br />
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I feel like we are presently as a culture acting almost completely on fear and anger. Listen to all of our political discussions and policies that are being proposed. They are almost exclusively coming from places of fear and anger. A lot of them seem to be based more on feelings and emotions, rather than facts and what is actually going on. People are exceptionally angry and we are also very afraid. It is hard to make decisions in those moments that are going to be very strategically sound or intelligent. We need to somehow find a way to take a step back and get to a place of reason. There will be times we have to be aggressive, but being angry does not usually help. Anger can also escalate things to points of no return. Many times we seek revenge instead of justice. Justice by definition must involve truth. Revenge does not care too much about the truth, it wants release and any kind of retribution without much concern of finding the truth. <br />
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It is a dangerous path we are trodding. I will choose the path of reason and courage and i hope as a culture we can find our way back to that path. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-51845230455772341592017-02-21T04:19:00.001-08:002017-02-21T04:19:44.003-08:00Dawn<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1VuNfU8gxZw/WKwu9oTn6YI/AAAAAAAAAQI/tPd0blKjXl8smMHhCG_Z0mIFLDL92EXtACLcB/s1600/IMG_1118.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1VuNfU8gxZw/WKwu9oTn6YI/AAAAAAAAAQI/tPd0blKjXl8smMHhCG_Z0mIFLDL92EXtACLcB/s320/IMG_1118.jpg" width="320" height="240" /></a></div><br />
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Sleep is an amazing thing. I love to hit the bed and fall into a deep and heavy sleep. It is pretty easy to get out of that routine though, one day of sleeping in, however awesome it is at the time can send you into a whole different rhythm of the body. Often times in the deep watches of the night after waking up late, sleep is very difficult to find and the harder you search the more elusive sweet sleep seems to be. <br />
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But, thanks to a student i teach three days a week who got a new job, our morning sessions now begin at 6 AM. This has actually been wonderful. After the first day of it, i find myself back on a healthy rhythm. When the pillow hits my head and a few chapters of a journey toward the Dark Tower, the lights go out and new states of consciousness emerge. Not only that, but i am present for the Dawn. All of her glory and most beautiful gowns dress the sky. There are those elders who to this day stand outside and bear witness and sing up the sun for all of us. It makes my heart smile to know that they still do this. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-49981400477447771232017-02-20T05:19:00.000-08:002017-02-20T05:19:11.239-08:00In Faith.... i Do Believe<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-f6yptBpycxM/WKrkY1LLacI/AAAAAAAAAPw/6WIE2qkR9kcTLOOsKfiFHjV8AERDCVJKwCLcB/s1600/Sunrise%2Bwoods.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-f6yptBpycxM/WKrkY1LLacI/AAAAAAAAAPw/6WIE2qkR9kcTLOOsKfiFHjV8AERDCVJKwCLcB/s200/Sunrise%2Bwoods.jpg" width="200" height="150" /></a></div><br />
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My beliefs have had an interesting journey throughout my walk here in this great unfolding play of life. Somewhere on my journey across the country the topic of what my religion is came up. I do not really think i have a religion anymore. For the most part in our world i think religion causes more problems than it fixes. That is different than people's day to day spirituality or belief in divinity. But world religions strap themselves on to people and walk into crowds and detonate. They do this both figuratively and literally and have been doing this since religions began. I have a hard time getting behind any of those. There are good things about them and they sometimes do good things. If that is your particular path i hope it feeds you and gives you meaning and it helps you create some light in the world. But, the question of what i believe in stopped me in my tracks a bit because it is an interesting concept and one ultimately i have not thought about for a long time. My path is a path of action, and i spend most of my days trying to be the best person i can be in this world. For the most part, i really care a lot more about what you do than what you believe. What kind of person are you in the world?<br />
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I used to go on a yearly retreat with my church youth group to a place called Paradise Lake at the roof of Bushkill Falls in Pennsylvania. Those waterfalls were my religion there. It was their voices that fed my soul and recharged me. Their eternity drove the blood in my veins and renewed my spirit. One year the head speaker said a thing that was profound and also motivated me. He said you should be a Christian not for what will happen to you when you die, but for how it transforms your life today. That should be true of whatever you choose to believe. In my eyes that was profound thought and transformative. I think a lot of people do their religion because they think some future reward is waiting. That is a true opiate of the masses. Shut up and do your job and someday when you die then you get good things. Wage masters love this way of thinking. I actually heard a Christian radio station on a drive to York, PA say that you should work at your job not for what it does for you, but to the glory of God. They claimed they were taking the word "slave" back and that we should be happy slaves to our bosses and masters because God is watching and that is what he wants. When you get your days off their purpose is to recharge you so you can do your work which is the real reason for our lives here. What??? I will get to what i believe soon enough, but i know that the list will not include that i should be a slave or a sheep to anyone. I also am sorry if God does not like it, but if i have a job it will not be because i am hoping to help IBM more than i care about time with family or the quality of my life. They were able to say this without any laughter and i think they really believe it. That is a bill of goods we have been sold my friends. Don't get me wrong, i work really hard and when working for someone do the best job i can as hard as possible. I have a pretty strong work ethic and take pride in a good job, but i am not your slave and your company is not the most important mission of my life.<br />
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At any rate... i digress. So what things do i believe? What are some of the things i have come to find as true in the universe? Bear in mind, i also have a lot of ideas about a lot of things. Ideas and beliefs are different though, watch Dogma and you will get the concept of ideas versus beliefs. These are things that through years of study i truly believe to be true. The numbers are the core belief and the letters represent ideas i am not as sure of but think are probably right as well.<br />
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1. <i><i>We are made up of stars and color.</i> Life is light.</i> That is a scientific fact. Everything we eat and actually everything we are is made up of stars. All energy that motivates life on this planet originally comes from the sun. Some ideas that come of this: A. The chakras are also a rainbow of color and coded as such, ROY G BIV. The chakras make sense to me because of the fact that the order of color is also the order of light. B. A diet of lots of colors is a healthy diet. Every wavelength of light has different energy so eating lots of multi-colored food is a pretty good indicator of a healthy diet (vegetables and fruits and such... not different colored M&Ms). C. We are all connected to everything else, part of the stuff of stars which are the real building blocks of everything.<br />
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2. <i>Sacred Math. You can find the Golden Ratio in everything.</i> Ideas that come from this: A. There is a fingerprint of something in the universe. B. We are all connected to everything else, part of the same stuff. <br />
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3. <i>Music. There is something magical in music which is the sound expression of number 2.</i> Ideas that go with this: A. Sound has the power to affect things like emotion and mood. Sound has the power to change the universe. B. Music is the expression of the connection and the voice of the gods. C. We are all connected to everything else, part of a universal chorus. <br />
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Now, the beliefs here, the 3 above are really pretty basic and you can actually scientifically verify them. I have had conversations with my friend Micah who got me interested more thoroughly in the Golden Ratio and sacred math and we asked what it means that we believe these things are true. When you really learn about the Golden ratio and sacred geometry, do you get cool spooky powers? Is there an enlightenment there? Boy i hope so. I am waiting on them. I imagine what happens is that things really don't change that much. The ideas that sprout from those 3 core beliefs are what affect how i go about my life. <br />
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The core of all three of those things is that you and i are ultimately one. You are separate from me in lots of very real ways, but on a deep level we are part of the same thing. The real unified field of all of this is probably another deeply held belief, and even though it is not scientifically verifiable, i know it to be true to the core of my being...<br />
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4. In spite of all its ugliness on occasion, <i>the universe is beautiful. She is a work of art, a dance set to light and music.</i> I believe that to be true and can feel it to the core of my being. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-89641184160799224512017-02-14T06:01:00.000-08:002017-02-14T06:01:49.474-08:00DefensivenessI have not written a blog in a long time. The world has changed in many, many ways. We won't go into all that, but i think this topic is something that definitely relates to our general situation in the world. <br />
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I find a lot of people tend to live their lives crouched in this defensive posture waiting for someone to wrong them. They are always on guard and alert for the slightest attack waiting for anyone to give them even the slightest offense. You can see this clearly whenever any issues of race or bias against women comes up. We have some serious issues in this country, the world in general actually. Women for example go through a lot of things. In this country alone 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Every woman i know who works at festivals, OK, actually just every woman i know, has lost track of the amount of times that she has been made to feel uncomfortable by a man or approached with attention she was not interested in. I have been working in interactive theater since 1997 and i can remember the one creepy stalker i had. One... since 1997. Every woman i know who works at these same shows has lost track of the amount of times this type of thing has happened. This is a bigger problem for women than it is for men. <br />
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When you bring this up however, there is always a response from a pretty large segment of the male population to tell you that they should be allowed to talk to women and that they are not like this. They also are quick to let you know that men go through this stuff too. Men do get raped sometimes and sexually harassed. But, in this area, it is something that is easier for me in my life because i am a guy. I do not live my life thinking about the fact that someone may be trying to assault me in every interaction i have with a stranger. I am not sure what the impulse to get defensive is with these things. For some men, i would imagine that they are probably a guy who does some untoward things and this is a guilty reaction. I have also seen this response from men who i am pretty sure are not the type of guy who does this sort of thing. They often times are looking out for the "good and decent guys out there." I imagine they also have felt rejected at times and that that was not warranted. <br />
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The problem with this reaction if you are not someone who believes it is all right for women to go through this on a daily basis is, when you point out that decent guys should be able to talk to women, you are giving support to the jerk who is reading you or hearing you. If you are a decent human who respects people, you are not who we are talking about. You don't need to feel guilty, you don't need to diminish what women go through. When someone tells you that they are going through a thing and you chime in saying that you go through thess things too, or "it is not me!" you are belittling their concern, their pain. Don't play devil's advocate. Don't chime in to defend the guys who do not do bad things to women. They don't need you to. They do not do bad things to women. You don't have to tell us you don't do bad things to women. When you start getting very defensive about it it sounds like you think it is OK and we start wondering if maybe you are a guy who thinks a woman owes you her time or her body. One thing you should feel guilty about is feeling that you being upset because someone turned you down is what you think about and not the fact that the reason why women often are on their guard is because 1 in 3 of them will be assaulted in their life. Your bruised ego is not as bad as that! Bear that in mind when you complain about the friend zone or the fact that someone did not want you talking to them. <br />
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This is an area where we do need to be a little less thin-skinned. When someone is talking about people who are sexist or racist or bigoted against a religion, they are not saying you specifically are. If your child comes into the house bleeding, don't get defensive and say, "I did not cut you, i get cut too. I have had a lot of really bad cuts in my life so yours is not really that bad. Stop whining about being cut." Some people have had experiences you have not had and when you start being in a defensive mode and dismissive you are rejecting their experience and pain.<br />
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My parents had great parents. My grandfather came back from World War 2 and was able to get the GI Bill, because he was a white guy, and lived in a great neighborhood with good schools. He had an awesome house and steady job. This put my parents in a great position. A black man coming back from WWII would not have had that same option. That man might have wound up living in an area with drug problems and been scraping to get by. His kids might have had to work extra hard to stay away from drugs and gangs. I was able to get through college without debt, partially because of what my grandparents left me, partially because i was able to get a good job. The grandchildren of the black man from WWII might not have had that same luxury. This does not mean i am a bad person or did not work hard, but i had some privilege. It is OK for me to see that. I don't have to diminish what another person had to go through and let them know how bad my story was too. <br />
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I have worked incredibly hard to create my business, to get through college and earn my credentials for martial arts teaching. That is another story though and i won't pretend i don't have bonus points over someone who grew up in the inner city in a family that was scraping by. I also do not need to justify that when someone tells me what other people go through. Black people have it harder than me in this country. That is a fact. Women have it harder than me on a daily basis. That is a fact. LGBTQ people have it harder than me on a daily basis in this country. That is a fact. I can understand that and not take it as a personal attack on me. It does not mean i do not have hard times. It does not mean that there might be a day where a woman has a better day than me. It does mean that in some significant ways, i have bonus points. They exist. <br />
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We also need to remember that we are a part of this thing together. If we want to say we fought off the British in the Revolutionary War, we won World War II, we put a man on the moon... then we also have to say, we had the worst system of slavery the world has ever seen, we committed a genocide in the West and put bounties on the heads of Native men, women and children, we don't take care of our veterans, etc. We have done all those things as a country. It is still an amazing country. Better than most for sure. But we have our demons and it is all right to acknowledge them. It is necessary to acknowledge them or we do not get anywhere. <br />
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I am also very deeply sorry for the heinous things we have done. Not sorry in the sense that i did this to these people. But sorry in the sense of the Spanish lo ciento. I feel it. I am sorry people had to go through these things. I feel a common bond of human suffering with you and i will do what i can to be an ally and make it right.<br />
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So in the future... if you see a post from a woman or a transgender person, or a black man or someone who says that they go through some shitty things.... don't tell them that it is not you or let them know how hard what you go through is too. They are not personally attacking you. Unless that is you... then maybe your response is guilt. Think about it. Take 15 minutes to let this sink in before you respond. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-2164518433175414542016-01-15T23:07:00.000-08:002016-01-15T23:07:19.906-08:00We are all a mess<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aoAtGewu-1w/VpnjPsMn6MI/AAAAAAAAAPI/QBmZU7nzVQE/s1600/IMG_0056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aoAtGewu-1w/VpnjPsMn6MI/AAAAAAAAAPI/QBmZU7nzVQE/s320/IMG_0056.JPG" /></a></div><br />
<i>"What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world. The paragon of animals. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?" ~William Shakespeare</i><br />
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It is so easy sometimes to look at the issues of others and wonder why they don't just get over it. Sometimes they even tell you they know what the problem is and it looks so simple from the outside and we get frustrated or turn our backs because they should really just stop doing what they are doing that hurts them or move on or get over it. Just that simple. But then, then we come across some of our own demons and our issues and if we are honest we realize that we have those issues too and it is not that simple. We are all flawed and have our things that are so ingrained in our beings that they seem like a part of us and we cannot ever imagine ever going past them. We don't even try because looking in the face of our own demons and admitting the flaws that define us is not something we like to do. I don't let people get close. I know i do this and that it is silly but i do it anyway. Logically i can tell you how silly it is but in the thick of it i have a thousand mechanisms to keep people on the outside. <br />
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We all have something. We have all been hurt and made promises to ourselves throughout our lives that make us keep doing the same things to ourselves over and over and over again. Sometimes we let people hurt us, berate us or strike us because we somehow feel that we need to be punished because of our flaws. Sometimes we push those who love us away because we don't even want to look at our own dark side, let alone let someone gaze openly into our abyss. Sometimes we make whatever excuses we can to drive off all of those that try to love us because inside of us their is a child that is insecure and believes that this amazing person could not possibly love me because i am not worthy of love with all of my flaws and failings. It is often easier to drive good people away and leave a wreck among our friends and relationships because we do not want to risk rejection. It is often easier to seek the fix of a new relationship than to work on and maintain one that has grown and nurtured us because many of us feel like we are not worthy of nurture. Many times it is easier to blindly follow a set of ideas than to open our minds to something new. We can rage and anger and stand behind a fortress of our own devise to protect our need to be right. We can become frustrated and pout to our friends when things don't go just the way we want even in things that in the grand scope of everything do not really matter. We often times cannot escape the grasp of our issues because in some deep and primal way, it feels like an essential part of who we are. We cannot imagine any place outside of the darkness and the negativity and the self doubt and the anger and the sadness. <br />
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This is the conundrum of our species and an irony of our nature. We are so advanced in our thinking and thoughts that we get in our own way. Our consciousness shuts us down and sends us to the bottle or to therapy. We believe the darkness. But there is also the light. It is easy to spiral onto a wave that tells you a beautiful life with love and friendship and health is not possible. But that is not the case. It is possible to face down our demons and move on. Sometimes i am there. Sometimes i look out at a river in the middle of the night in a cool winter rain and realize that it is all going to be all right. We are all the same and part of something that flows through all of us. When we are quiet sometimes we can hear the hum of the universe telling us it is going to be OK. Health is possible. It is rarely where we think it is going to be or down a path that we expected but it is possible for all of us; we small, small apes walking about this beautiful green and blue ball hurtling through space, to find peace and move in tune with the rhythms of everything. Truth is we do it anyway, there is really no other choice. It is only in our consciousness that we think forces conspire against us and all is sickness and pain. In the grand scope of everything, the great dance goes on.<br />
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But the truth is, in some ways at least, we are all a mess. I have seen beautiful amazing people that i care deeply about in the throes of it and they have taught me it is not a matter of just getting over it. I have been in that spiral myself and when you are there, it is not an easy task to climb your way out of it. Remember this. We are all a mess. There are no easy fixes. Sometimes love has to be tough and if we want to help we do not have to coddle, but do not believe that these things are just easy to throw off like an old jacket. <br />
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Also remember this, the most valuable things in life are the most difficult and i have also seen people who have clawed their way through and past their insecurities and these are some of the most powerful people i have ever met. We are all a mess... and what lies beyond that mess, through it, understanding it and not letting it control you... is something wonderful. <br />
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I write this because i want you to know i feel it too. Just because i do not understand your particular issue does not mean that i do not have my own. I am sorry if you have ever felt unheard or disregarded. I have been there where you are and i think when people are honest most of us have as well. Our own things feel real to us because they are our things. But yours is real too, and if you are reading this and you know what i am talking about, i am sorry if there has ever been a case where you were not heard or cared about. You are so, so worthy of love, each of you reading this. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-91583034286196579262015-12-09T16:19:00.001-08:002015-12-09T16:19:33.000-08:00This is our bar<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IYHz02-pWEk/VmjDcOUWVuI/AAAAAAAAAOw/Z3UFXTu2oeA/s1600/dojo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IYHz02-pWEk/VmjDcOUWVuI/AAAAAAAAAOw/Z3UFXTu2oeA/s320/dojo.jpg" /></a></div><i></i><br />
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In class the other day at Gracie United in Hammond, Louisiana, Professor Rafael Ellwanger said something that really struck a chord with me. <i>"One of the things i miss about training in Brazil was after every class we would all go out to eat and spend time together. We did not go out to the bar; no smoking, no drinking. This is our bar, here on the mat. This is where we like to be and the people we like to be with."</i> I have never voiced that so succinctly but i have always felt it. Training in the dojo, working on the martial arts has always been where i feel the most happy and at home. <br />
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I have never been one for loud parties and huge groups of drunk people. It is hard to vacation with me because i really do not like to sit around and do nothing. When i have a day off what i tend to do is work out or work on skills or projects i have for one of our varied business ventures. That is what i choose to do on my time off. I have a hard time when i have days off in a row and nothing to do. I would rather be on the mat. That is indeed my place of community and where i go to unwind after a long day. It is more vacation than most of my vacations. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-69025067298184314392015-12-03T16:57:00.000-08:002015-12-03T16:57:01.476-08:00Students days, kids and the Renaissance FaireI have been working at Renaissance Faires and festivals for quite a long time now. Nothing seems to strike fear into my fellow performers and merchants hearts like kids' days. Whenever they are coming up and we have meetings invariably people want to roll out their horror stories and talk about ways to protect yourself from these monsters we have to suffer through. As someone who owns a festival myself and has also been through over 10 years of faires and student days, i have to say to those people who preach the fear and loathe these "horrible" days... shut up. <br />
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I have never had a bad kids' day in all my years working as an entertainer and even a few times as a vendor. I think the problem a lot of people have on student days comes from the attitude that they bring with them. There is an expectation that the kids are going to be awful brats and the day is going to be a battle to protect merchandise and feelings against these young humans that are coming through the gate. I watched someone just the other day yell belligerently at a group of students, "Get out of the way, the rickshaw is coming!" The rickshaw was behind them. These students were just walking and laughing with each other, but the attitude thrown at them was one of anger and the seizing of authority. This group of students did not do anything untoward and yet this worker at the faire assumed he had to be hard nosed with these young people. Most people who work at faire are having an awful student day even before it has begun. If you ask someone how they are doing before the day you will here all kinds of negativity about a day that has not even begun yet. People... STOP!<br />
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Our perception definitely shapes our reality. If you go into anything with expectations the universe is probably going to give you back what you are asking for. This is especially true when dealing with children, they are sensitive creatures and they can feel your loathing seeping off of you. <br />
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Here are some things that i do, and mind you, i have never had a bad kids' day. Try these things. They work. <br />
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1. Do not patronize kids. Talk to them like people because they are. Just like we laugh when hearing about patrons who believe that actors or people behind a counter are, "Almost like real people", the idea that every kid who comes to the faire is some kind of mini-monster is just as laughable. Treat them with respect and talk to them like a person. Do not expect them to be "bad" and you will be amazed at the amazing experiences you will have, let alone what they will take home from meeting you. <br />
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2. At the same time, they are children and don't forget it. You are an adult or at least you are supposed to be so know your boundaries. If you remember that these are young people and not criminals you can handle almost any situation you encounter. <br />
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3. Here is the big one, and the number 1 reason to not hate these days... most of us like what we do and enjoy that faires exists so we don't have to work in a cubicle somewhere... well this is the future of our business! If these kids get hooked now, they are the ones who are going to be coming back and bringing their kids here in the next generation of people. Our music director in NJ fell in love with Renaissance Faires when she came to a student day many years ago. If you can't figure out a way to sell things the kids are going to buy, consider it advertising for the future of your business. Make them love it! <br />
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4. Go into the day expecting to play. The students that come on kids' days are ready and willing to play in your world and i don't care what age group you are talking about. If you do not see each interaction as a battle but an opportunity you will be amazed at the fun you can have. <br />
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Student days at faire are to me some of my favorite. We are done at 2 in the afternoon and we spend all day with a bunch of people who if you do not send waves of negative energy at them will find you to be a hero by the end of your interaction with them. Some of them can even learn something and some of them may wind up working for you in years to come. <br />
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Stop hating on the kids' days everybody. <br />
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A public service announcement from the Lords of Adventure. ;)tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-12149087078787439592015-11-30T10:07:00.002-08:002015-11-30T10:07:31.948-08:00We are the light of the world<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4kWgJwVMDI0/VlyL8hlyMTI/AAAAAAAAAOc/PTY-9sLPr7Q/s1600/Light_dispersion_conceptual_waves.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4kWgJwVMDI0/VlyL8hlyMTI/AAAAAAAAAOc/PTY-9sLPr7Q/s320/Light_dispersion_conceptual_waves.gif" /></a></div><br />
This weekend was all about light. There are some fundamental scientific truths about light that we all kind of know in elementary and high school but do not really fathom how monumental they are. We learn about plants and photosynthesis and that they create their energy and food from the light of the sun. They are green because that color absorbs the red and blue color light which has the most diverse wavelength selection to draw from while reflecting back the green colored light which sits in the middle of the spectrum. Animals then eat plants and get their energy there and are in turn eaten by other animals which get their energy from those animals that got their energy from the plants. All of the motivating energy of every living thing comes originally from the light of the sun. <br />
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We need to take a minute to let that sink in. We all, every living thing, ultimately are eating sunlight, solar energy, nuclear fusion reactions from over 92 million miles away. When we think about the implications of this it is kind of staggering. Every action on the earth by a living creature is ultimately solar energy made manifest in matter. The plant converts light into its energy and stores it in its leaves and body like a battery. It is there as potential. As an animal when i eat a plant my cells and mitochondria convert that into energy and action of my muscles. My typing on this keyboard is sunlight made matter in the world. Every time i hit a heavy bag or strike a chord on a guitar, it is an explosion of stored energy that originated in the sun. <br />
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I believe this is the same for thoughts. If thoughts are electrical energy in our brains and consciousness then they too started out in the the star that centers our solar system. I am not a dualist who believes that mind stuff and body stuff are somehow different. This is the topic for another blog, but my studies have led me to believe that everything is a type of energy moving at different speeds. Matter is energy slowed down to a lower vibration. If this is the case then that energy that becomes our thoughts and our consciousness originated in the sun too. <br />
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The planets in our solar system, the meat of my body, everything that is exploded out of stars, at least in this theory. We are made up of stardust people. That is pretty epic. And the sun originated out of the greater galaxy which arose from the greater universe. Whatever that source of the start of the universe was, this blog originated there too. That is where our sun came from. It all ultimately has the same source and has emerged and evolved and grown into this epic dance of the myriad things and creatures and planets and galaxies and photons and rivers and rocks that make up this amazing drama that we can not begin to completely fathom. We are all a part of something magnificent. <br />
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I have been looking at the Two-slit experiment again and i feel like in that scenario you are putting energy into a system and it is like a very primitive consciousness. Our brains and bodies are like a very complicated version of that experiment. The system takes that energy and goes to a myriad different places with it, but it all starts with light, with energy, with the Sun, the universe, with the Beginning of things. <br />
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Remember, we are all a part of something magnificent! tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-76333701345325073202015-11-25T15:17:00.001-08:002015-11-25T15:17:46.377-08:00The Way is in the Training<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Kv-EHxCTZks/VlY_bMAslOI/AAAAAAAAAOI/LBTrzVp0hyQ/s1600/samarai.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Kv-EHxCTZks/VlY_bMAslOI/AAAAAAAAAOI/LBTrzVp0hyQ/s320/samarai.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Once you get the ball rolling, you have to keep the ball rolling. <br />
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I have seen a lot of people who have a similar problem. They get really excited about something in their life, be it learning an instrument, working out, getting organized or improving their business. They stay in this state of excitement and inspiration for a few weeks usually, and then it is back to the old routines. This kind of motivation is not very helpful and is kind of counter productive to the whole theory of the rolling of the ball. We need to find ways to keep the ball rolling once we have found it.<br />
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I have been very lucky that i tend to stay pretty energized with my projects and training. It took practice though. We have to train ourselves to be the kind of person who will not quit on things. I read "Living the Martial Way" quite a few years back and the instruction to "Train as a warrior trains" sunk in with me. There are several things we can do to help this along, but it is really a matter of focusing your will. Here are some things that i think help to make us get past the excuses and effect positive change. These are laid out in terms of martial arts training or exercise but they can apply to other goals as well.<br />
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1. Start out reasonably. Do not think that after years of inactivity you are going to jump headlong into three hours of training a day. You are not going to stick with this. Start out with reasonable expectations.<br />
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2. Find an exercise or style that you enjoy doing. Whatever you want to commit too, you have to enjoy it or you are doomed to failure from the beginning. If you hate running that should not be the cornerstone of your new exercise regime. I train in martial arts because i love doing it and i am happy to do it everyday. I like doing that better than i like going on vacation. It is easy for me to stick to it because i found the training program that i like to do.<br />
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3. Get involved with a group that shares the same goals. Find a group of like minded people who want to train in what you do. A martial arts school can do this or a basketball team. Find a group on Facebook that will help keep you motivated or pick a fitness buddy to go to the gym with. This will also help with number 4.<br />
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4. Hold yourself accountable. Do not let yourself off the hook when you skip workouts or training sessions. Life happens but commit to doing what you have said you were going to do. If you find your new commitment important you should go at it with the zeal with which you go at showing up for work. When you don't go there are consequences. Find ways to make yourself accountable. Post your workouts on social media to a group so people can see what you are doing or start a blog. Keep a fitness journal. Donate to charity every time you miss a workout. Skip a favorite TV show if you miss something. Anything but find a meaningful way to reward yourself for staying on task. If you meet your workout or training goals maybe you go out to eat at the end of the week to a good restaurant, maybe you see a movie. Something. Be accountable.<br />
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These are some small things that i do. It is important to find ways for you to keep at your goals and not let them fall by the wayside. Life transformation is not easy and adjusting your will takes time and patience but it can be done. You can affect change. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-55062218475743032382015-11-20T11:52:00.000-08:002015-11-20T11:52:10.083-08:00Who are we?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nWxInjgJ_os/Vk9xE5a57iI/AAAAAAAAAN0/YmaZYxerGfs/s1600/statue%2Bof%2Bliberty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nWxInjgJ_os/Vk9xE5a57iI/AAAAAAAAAN0/YmaZYxerGfs/s320/statue%2Bof%2Bliberty.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<i>"Whoever fights monsters should see to it in the process that he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." ~Nietzche</i><br />
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There is a lot of back and forth on the internet presently about Syrian refugees and them coming to our shores. I have seen a lot of vitriol and anger coming especially from the side that advocates closing the borders and protecting our own. I even saw one person say that he would gladly kill every one of them and not lose a minute of sleep over it to protect his family. Have we been gazing too long into an abyss? Are we not being wary while we wrestle with these monsters that we ourselves are not becoming monsters? <br />
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What is it about terrorists and those who would take innocent lives to make their point that we so loathe? Is it not that they do not lose a moment's sleep over trying to kill every one of us to prove a point? What is, or at least what should be better about America and what we stand for is that we do not do this. What exactly do we like about ourselves and teach our children to strive for if we become a people who can flippantly say we will not lose a moment's sleep after killing every last one of them? It is possible this person meant every last one of the terrorists who want to destroy us, but what was being talked about were the 1000's of refugees. There may well be, and probably are some vicious killers in the midst of that mass of humanity, but there are definitely some innocent victims, infants, hard working men and women who just happened to be born in a less fortunate circumstance than we were. I do not doubt that there are some among us who do believe they would willingly kill all of them for an ounce of safety. Those among us who believe that and feel that way are the same as the enemy we claim we are trying to defeat... in short, those who flew planes into our buildings, and killed masses of people in Beirut and Paris and elsewhere in the name of a cause... we are the same as them. We cannot hold the moral high ground anymore once we begin to feel that way. We are at that point also monsters. <br />
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We all want to keep our families and loved ones safe, but unfortunately becoming hard and heartless does not help that. It is actually counter productive. Our adventures around the world looking out only for our own interest helps to breed this hatred of us. We exploited Cuba for our own interests... and then came Fidel Castro. We used the Mojahideen in Afghanistan when it was a convenient tool against the USSR, and then abandoned them in the end... and then came Osama bin Laden. We instigated the creation of an anti-Syrian force that we knew would be extremist... and now we have ISIS. We keep doing the same things and expecting different results. We support monsters that destroy a society in our own self interest and then wonder why generations of children grow up to hate us. I am not saying that the actions of extremists are justified, just that we had a hand in creating them with actions that are also very unjustified and in the long run are detrimental to our security. We make stupid decisions on the world stage over and over and over again. It is not a partisan problem either. The Obama administration is raining death from the sky on people all over the world with our drone program... the Bush administration gave us the Iraq War... there is not a side of our political world which is free of these bad decisions. <br />
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Back to the refugees... I heard my first friend on the blocking refugee side say, "you want to accept these people without checking them, i am all for refugees but letting them in unchecked is suicide". OK, we can get somewhere. I am all for thoroughly vetting the people coming into this country. We have to do that in an efficient way however. We have translators who worked with our military who we have been left to die because of paperwork and we cannot do that here. I do not know exactly how we do this but we can think of something... we put a man on the moon. Maybe we make a safe zone in the Middle East where people are free from danger and can be checked as we need to. Maybe we team up with Egyptian billionaire guy who is buying Greek islands to relocate people who are in harm's way and they can wait there. Maybe that is even a final destination, who knows. The goal is to get people safe, to me that does not have to be here if we have a viable alternative. <br />
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We can be compassionate and smart... we can be strong but loving... we can protect ourselves without turning our backs on the world. With great power comes great responsibility. We need to be the ideals we claim to be standing up to protect. We cannot become monsters ourselves or else all of our service men who die in these wars we have created are dying for nothing and that is unacceptable. Shame on our politicians who take military action lightly and send our sons and daughters off to die without a strategy and a plan for political reasons. We cannot let this happen to these brave men and women who are flying our flag on foreign shores. What we are doing has to mean something of value. We are better than those who would wage war on innocent civilians to try and get us to hide under our bed sheets and give up our freedoms for a sense of safety. We went into Europe and Asia and lost millions of American lives because we were better than fascism. We won with most of our principles intact. We do not have to choose between taking care of our veterans and letting the huddled masses who need these shores come here. If we want to make America great again we have to remember what it is that makes this country a shining light on the hill. It is not money or economic security, it is not that we have bigger bombs then everybody else. This place is great because of the ideals that we stand for and what is written in our Constitution. If it is just our wealth and military might, then we are Rome all over again, and empires always fall. It is the people here and all of those people, regardless of the color of their skin or their religious affiliation or sexual orientation is what makes us strong. Are we truly something amazing that has happened to the world or are we just the next Roman Empire that has passed its zenith and is heading toward slow decline? tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-91459901711434233782015-11-17T07:26:00.002-08:002015-11-17T07:26:51.143-08:00Get the Ball Rolling<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YQqzEyUHdiQ/VktEJo3PJWI/AAAAAAAAANg/Pk76P54Hz94/s1600/ball%2Brolling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YQqzEyUHdiQ/VktEJo3PJWI/AAAAAAAAANg/Pk76P54Hz94/s200/ball%2Brolling.jpg" /></a></div><br />
The first part of the Adventurer's Code from the Lords of Adventure's Adventurer's Handbook, "Get the Ball Rolling." Super important concept and i find it to be a big part of the code that most adventurers have a hard time with.<br />
<br />
Procrastination is so easy. Things that we are going to do later, we do not have to do right now. I have friends who have stated that they were going to do something, definitively, years ago and those things are never done, will never be done. The reason is because a lot of people have no actual capacity to get the ball rolling. It is easy to have ideas, but to take those ideas and make them actual in the world requires action and it requires the will power to actually create and perform. <br />
<br />
I had a friend once who told me, "Man i wish i was as good at martial arts as you are." My response, "Well, start training now and then in ten years you are going to be pretty awesome... or, don't and then ten years from now you know what you will say? 'Man i wish i was as good at martial arts as you.'" He did not begin training and ten years and more have gone by. I buy into this and i might take it to the opposite end because i am always trying to work on things. I might actually need to learn how to relax and just sit sometimes, but that is another blog. This blog is about getting the ball rolling and making something awesome out of your life while you have it.<br />
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I have seen it over and over again. I have wanted to do things with people and try to get us working, next thing you know over a year has gone by and we still have done nothing. We only have a limited amount of life that we get and there is SO much amazing creation that we have the potential for. Do not waste your life away thinking about what you are going to do later. Start it. That is what the code means. Get the ball rolling now. If you want to learn a martial art, a musical instrument, if you want to make a sign for your business or ask somebody out on a date... do it now. Right now. Get the ball rolling. When you stop reading this do the thing. Not kidding. You don't have time to wait around or years are going to pass you by. <br />
<br />
<i>Rocky - "I'll do it tomorrow."<br />
Apollo Creed - "There is no tomorrow! There is no tomorrow!"</i><br />
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If you would like a copy of the Adventurer's Handbook, get it online: <a href="https://www.createspace.com/3713359">Adventurer's Handbook Online</a>tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-82322550345722224952015-11-16T14:59:00.000-08:002015-11-16T14:59:53.574-08:00True Faith<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C7B1EmGMBQM/VkpbJSKNBWI/AAAAAAAAANM/aSGcssk32W0/s1600/Flower-of-Life-61circles.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C7B1EmGMBQM/VkpbJSKNBWI/AAAAAAAAANM/aSGcssk32W0/s320/Flower-of-Life-61circles.png" /></a></div><br />
<i>"I feel so extraordinary, something's got a hold on me, i get this feeling i'm in motion, a certain sense of liberty..." ~New Order song, True Faith</i><br />
<br />
The name of that song inspired some philosophy in me back in the day. What exactly is True Faith? What i came to back in college when i was wrestling with the concept is that True Faith is to Know. That is a lot deeper than the things we believe. Even deeper than some things we think we know in that mundane day to day kind of way. We feel that we know that the earth is solid, it is fundamental to our world view and when someone lives through an earthquake to witness the earth churn and pulse like liquid, if frequently leads to therapy. Fundamental beliefs, things we thought we knew shake and are not as firm as we thought. I don't know that this chair i am sitting on will not collapse beneath me but i act as if i do know it. Can we acquire True Faith? Is it possible to know anything in that enlightenment type of level? <br />
<br />
Most religions offer us things to believe in that it takes faith to believe. There are those who are reading this i am sure who will claim that i am wrong and that they know for a fact that their religion, relationship with the gods, their personal salvation, etc. is a fact that they know to the core of their being. That does not work to prove anything to the person who has not had the experience and frankly, there are lots of people out there claiming that they know religious truths that contradict a lot of other ones. There is a faith there, sometimes a faith that will lead individuals to do heinous things in the name of what they believe. <br />
<br />
I have sought out this True Faith for a long time, i have thought it was a call from somewhere just beyond the borders of my conscious world that beckons me to come and find it. I do not have True Faith in that and i only believe it sometimes. <br />
<br />
I am not going to get to True Faith in this blog and if you think you have it bless your heart and i hope you are right. But, i would like to look at a couple of things that suggest to me there is more going on in the universe than we can just observe and that we can actually look at with a scientific eye and observe. These things are just really, kind of cool. They suggest to me at least that we are all connected and a part of the universe in a deep and fundamental way. <br />
<br />
The first is sacred geometry. There are sequences in the universe that repeat everywhere. They are ratios that exist in our bodies, in seashells, in hurricanes, in the arms of galaxies, on the coast of New Jersey, in the spin vectors of particles... everywhere. They repeat everywhere. Same ratios. Like a fingerprint of something. I can make assumptions poast that if i am inclined, but we can observe the ratios and look at them. An awesome stone carver friend of mine has a metal caliper that finds the Golden Mean on your body, in a leaf, in anything because it is everywhere. That is really awesome. I cannot say anything about it past that with certainty, but i can say and look at it in the world. I don't have to blindly accept it because it is there and can be measured and seen, over and over again. <br />
<br />
The next for me is light. We are made up of stars. What we ultimately eat is light. It is what fuels are bodies and is what we are. Eating a lot of colors tends to be pretty healthy diet and i think that is because you are eating the spectrum of color and various kinds of light energy. Think about that. We are children of the stars. I can't say anything else past that without it being assumptions and theory, but we can look at the action of photosynthesis and see how plants eat. It is that energy of the sun that fuels the plants that ultimately fuels everything. Beautiful. <br />
<br />
Is it True Faith? Nope. But, it is rational faith. We can look at those two things and observe them. It is not the enemy of faith to be smart and to deeply question everything. I like proof. There are a lot of things that i believe that i cannot really observe or give you definite observations of, but with these two, you can look at them. Don't take my word for it. Look up the study of light, check out the Golden Mean. Really cool stuff. I cannot prove this objectively, but to me it suggest that the universe we live in is beautiful and amazing. I am happy to be a part of it. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-59133648179462415042015-05-05T20:43:00.000-07:002015-05-05T20:43:23.956-07:00Unfettered<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X4oTuxBcST0/VUmLNum5EfI/AAAAAAAAAMk/_FSKdfQ6EhY/s1600/%2B(29%2Bof%2B53).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X4oTuxBcST0/VUmLNum5EfI/AAAAAAAAAMk/_FSKdfQ6EhY/s320/%2B(29%2Bof%2B53).jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I want to figure out what the limits of my human potential are. Reading Weightlessness by Tom Fazio has really kickstarted my training and brought everything to a new level. I have been wearing ankle and wrist weights throughout my day until about 5 PM. When they come off i feel superhuman. Not only that, it is a giant second wind. The actions and efforts of the day fall off me with the weights that fall to the ground. I have also been working a lot on doing planches. This is an exercise that i used to look at and feel that it was impossible to achieve even as i watched it on video after video. They seem weightless as well. After a month of practice, those things all seem within reach. <br />
<br />
With my martial arts training i think the ultimate goal for me is to become completely unfettered. I always talk to my students about the various gears we have in our thoughts and minds. We have a distinct shift when we switch between these and it stops us for a moment and slows us down. I want to break these down and have seamless transition between all of these pairs. Some notable ones are between hands and feet, left and right and the biggest from a martial arts stand point is the great gulf between attack and defense. I can see the look of those shifts on my training partners. I can also feel them in myself when i hit one. Often times if you watch people fight, they will tend to throw some punches <gear shift>, then throw some kicks. When you can transfer seamlessly between your punches and kicks you become a fighter of another level. You force your opponent to fight a war on two fronts. If they have not broken down this division through training, they will have to pause for their brain to catch up as they shift thought between the hands and feet.<br />
<br />
Even watching professional fighters you can see the gap between attack and defense, except in cases of the elite. Most often you will see one person attack, then the other. When you can intercept and attack into the attacks that are coming at you, you have achieved another level. When someone is not prepared for this and you make them defend when their mind is in attack mode, they really cannot defend themselves. You cause a hiccup in their thought process and shut their brain down for a split second in which you can steal the attack from them.<br />
<br />
I want to be unfettered in my acting as well. Improv theater training is a great way to train this as well and i do believe learning and excelling at improv theater has helped me be a better fighter. To be a master of improv comedy your brain must be free to flow and react to any situation. You say "yes, and" to whatever comes at you as you must in a fight. <br />
<br />
This is my quest. I am not about a life of mediocrity or the mundane. I want to always excel and learn and improve myself, that is truly what it means to be a warrior. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-17194866524004467612015-04-27T21:31:00.001-07:002015-04-27T21:31:47.211-07:00Training & Defying Gravity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4s7nGWdnxFI/VT8IdhkOg1I/AAAAAAAAAMM/cNaI2YKsdD0/s1600/l_cd700540ce97406b91f0b26586f1a7c4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4s7nGWdnxFI/VT8IdhkOg1I/AAAAAAAAAMM/cNaI2YKsdD0/s320/l_cd700540ce97406b91f0b26586f1a7c4.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<i>Music rings in my ears and pulses through my body as my hands and feet fall into canvas with a thunder born of muscle and aggression and focus. My nose is filled with the smell of sweat and glove leather as i dance and weave, evading the attacks of invisible opponents that only i can see. There is no text messaging, no questions about logistics of business or festivals. My body grows stronger as it struggles to survive and receives messages that presently, it is not strong enough to do what is being asked of it. I live three minutes at a time. I am free. </i> <br />
<br />
I am an addict. I cannot get enough of the sweet release of endorphins as i punch and kick and elbow and knee my way through a workout. I am never more alive than when my whole system strains and works to become more than it was the day before. My good friend and training partner Brad of years ago who was a fighter told me that i was in the shape he would be in when he was getting ready for a fight. Bruce Lee said that a warrior of life must always be in fight shape because our ring is the street and there are no bells or schedules to let you know when a fight may occur. I took that to heart and i train now to be in shape every day and any day that the need may arise. <br />
<br />
When i am working out i am free. It is not just physical but it is a spiritual situation. I have been finding that lately, thanks in great measure to <i>The Tribe of Motivation</i> that we started on Facebook and a book called <b><i>Weightlessness</i></b> by Tom Fazio (i highly reccomend it) i am in the best shape of my life. I find myself doing planches and muscle ups which at one point in time seemed impossible. I have been going about my business on a daily basis with 5lb ankle weights and 1.5lb wrist weights strapped to my body. When they come off i feel like i am defying gravity, like i am John Carter of Mars. <br />
<br />
I have notebooks chronicling my workouts back to 1997 and it was the same then, that is when this life of training began. And why? What is it about hours in the gym that keeps me doing it? I decided long ago that i never wanted there to be something that i could not do because of a lack of fitness. I would not be unable to play hockey all day with my friends or chase after my little cousins or play Archery Tag with our cast for 7 hours straight. My training has prepared me for all of these and i for the most part really do never tire. Make no mistake, i CAN keep up with you. And my life is more full for it. <br />
<br />
It is also about finding my human potential. I was given this one life and i want to find out what its limits are. What can i do? What skills can i learn and what feats can i perform? When i see something amazing being done by someone i am not content to watch, i want to do it. So far, i have found no limits and i am feeling weightless nowadays. <br />
<br />
Mostly, it is about Thoreau. <i>"I went to the woods so that i might live deep and suck all the marrow out of life and not when i come to die discover i have not lived."</i> That is from memory, but i think it is pretty close. Walden changed me, fundamentally transformed my outlook and i have been truly living ever since. Thank you Tribe, thank you Thoreau, thank you Bruce Lee and Guru Dan Inosanto, and mainly thank you to this great amazing mystery of life living itself that has granted me the grace to partake for whatever walk i have here in this earth. I will not squander it with mediocrity. <br />
tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-38988324227041413222015-01-28T08:04:00.000-08:002015-01-28T08:04:52.896-08:00Dualism<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w7g6RDwt_EM/VMkEflsqH_I/AAAAAAAAALo/F279rzjbRog/s1600/self-other.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w7g6RDwt_EM/VMkEflsqH_I/AAAAAAAAALo/F279rzjbRog/s320/self-other.gif" /></a></div><br />
Apology and fair warning, this is going to get heady and philosophical.<br />
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The philosopher Spinoza said that the chief problem with Western Philosophy is dualism. That is the categories we make that are mutually exclusive with each other and they have cause a lot of problems for us in the West. Mind/Body, Self/Other, the individual/society, etc. etc. Taking mind and body for example, they look like completely distinct and separate things. Mind is a non-extended something and body is matter that exists physically in the universe. We think they are related somehow, but there is a problem figuring out how this non-extended something interacts with the body since typical though usually is that somehow our mind directs the body. It is a problem, at least for philosophers who worry about these sorts of things. <br />
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There are lots of kinds of body, or let's use the word matter. We don't have a problem figuring out how they interact with each other because they are all extended in space and have mass. It is easy to see how a car interacts with the telephone pole. Even though are different kinds of matter, it is not a mutually exclusive dualism between car and telephone pole. <br />
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This statement of Spinoza's woke me up philosophically. What i happened to be studying at the time was the great philosophers who all had their personal tome. Hume's "A Treatise of Human Nature," Kant's "Critique of Pure Reason," Hegel's "The Phenomenolgy of Spirit," etc. etc. So, i of course wanted to have my own, mine was going to be "The Codex of Energetic Monism." OK, not sure exactly but energetic monism was the crux of the thing. The idea was and i still believe this, that there is really only one kind of stuff ultimately and it is energy. Matter is just energy in a slower state of vibration and we can see this with all the energy that is locked up in any atom. This is not super important for where we are going, just pointing out where my head space was.<br />
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The difference with my theory, and i am sure it is not just mine, there really are not any original thoughts out there, was it did not try to solve the mind/matter problem by just making everything either one or the other. People have tried to solve that problem by saying that things are either just all thought, or just body (chemical reactions n the brain = thoughts, brain states = mind states.) I don't like those kinds of explanations. In the beginning we were beings, undifferentiated and then someone came along and started to classify. We have these thoughts that seem to exist outside of space, and we have these bodies that seem to exist in space, they are two different kinds of stuff. Saying we are either body or mind forgets that we made that distinction in the first place. I was looking for that state that happened before we made the split, which is an illusion, it is a useful illusion but an illusion just the same.<br />
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Now, mind/body is only one of the dualisms that affect our lives. Subject/Object, Practical/Spiritual, Local/Global, etc. They are all illusions. You do not have to be bound by the term. When i am learning a practical martial art, it is also very spiritual for me, really the practical and the spiritual are the same. When i am helping a group of five students, i am helping the world. You are not separate from me, and you also are. We don't have to worry about it. Separating self and other, body and thought usually leads to denigrating one side of that equation which leads to one half of the thing. For a long time we have thought of the thought as pure and the body as banal, and thus arise all sorts of issues with female body image, feeling guilty about sex, etc. <br />
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If we can bring down these dualisms it would solve a great deal of our problems and ultimately i feel like they are at the root of a lot of our problems that plague us today and throughout history. <br />
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I welcome your thoughts. This is something i have thought a lot about and really makes up the core of most of my beliefs. Have an amazing day, and see your fellow humans as your self too. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-9056138904442475002014-12-03T11:32:00.001-08:002014-12-03T11:32:58.074-08:00How long nail polish lasts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TuAW3GPnyq0/VH9j8_dFOTI/AAAAAAAAALY/BzeGTX0Ij8o/s1600/IMG_20141203_115403.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TuAW3GPnyq0/VH9j8_dFOTI/AAAAAAAAALY/BzeGTX0Ij8o/s320/IMG_20141203_115403.jpg" /></a></div><br />
As a boy, there are just some things i don't know.<br />
I had no idea, for example, how long nail polish lasts.<br />
<br />
As a whim, with salt air in my nostrils, and joy on my lips<br />
and alcohol in my veins, pink fluid transformed my toe nails<br />
into something they had never been.<br />
<br />
As a boy i had no idea what i was getting myself into.<br />
That is the kind of knowledge we are just not informed of.<br />
The flakes are still there and it has been three months.<br />
I had no idea what i was getting myself into.<br />
<br />
I had no idea how long nail polish lasts.<br />
Sometimes it last longer than a friendship,<br />
but not as long as memories.<br />
<br />
There are still four flakes clinging to life<br />
on several little piggies.<br />
They are fading like the memories <br />
but the memories are still there,<br />
they still make me smile.<br />
<br />
Life is a journey and not a destination.<br />
I don't avoid the journey because it may end someday.<br />
I am happy i had the nail polish and the memories.tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-78019571269740223692014-11-26T10:25:00.001-08:002014-11-26T10:27:15.856-08:00My Whisper<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1oiHbcoeDpc/VHYbBHj3YnI/AAAAAAAAALI/vITis8T9K9o/s1600/IMG_0289.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1oiHbcoeDpc/VHYbBHj3YnI/AAAAAAAAALI/vITis8T9K9o/s320/IMG_0289.JPG" /></a></div><br />
It was a long long time ago<br />
when the animals could speak.<br />
I felt something like a whisper,<br />
From a forest, deep, shadowy and bleak.<br />
The call, if indeed it was a call<br />
Was alluring, enticing, a shadow cross my soul<br />
Like a desperate angel fall.<br />
It was an almost heard something,<br />
Elusive, at the edges of my mind,<br />
That is ever-present, daring,<br />
By that something i'm defined.<br />
<br />
That low whisper promised answers<br />
But to hunt them i must dare<br />
In the deep shadows of something,<br />
In the woods of melancholy, despair.<br />
I roam, oh i wander and i roam,<br />
As the woods encroach, surround, haunt me, grey and gather<br />
Til there is no place feels like home.<br />
Seek and search the wood for the voice,<br />
Deep and deeper, leaving no stone unturned,<br />
For the voice that makes the whisper,<br />
For that speaker i do burn.<br />
<br />
On some days, between the whispers<br />
I can't even hear the call.<br />
My spirit at times distracted<br />
By toil or by a pretty face enthralled<br />
Is given reprieve, oh sweet reprieve<br />
As the dark groves retreat, withdraw, disperse and leave me<br />
To give me hope which i believe.<br />
In these moments my walls come down,<br />
Heart and love, sweet hope entice and enter<br />
Carried on curves and lips and lust<br />
Into my deepest center.<br />
<br />
But i am a lonely hunter,<br />
Loving the thrill of the chase<br />
And when something new does enter<br />
For a moment, the whisper is displaced.<br />
The times, the sweet tender loving times<br />
When i bask full on in warm embracing kind romance,<br />
I feel forgiven of my crimes.<br />
I am given a peace and ease<br />
And i forget like a cat in the sun<br />
As the dormant whisper goes still <br />
That my searching is not done.<br />
<br />
I wend my way closer to you,<br />
Sweetest of maidens the Truth,<br />
In deep, quiet contemplation<br />
Far from the whisper, alone and aloof.<br />
I think, i sit quiet and i think<br />
As i delve, dive, decipher and scramble for answers<br />
Midst whispers in truth on the brink.<br />
It is a long and lonely road<br />
On a journey up the mountain to know.<br />
But the walk i would not forsake,<br />
It draws me closer to my soul.<br />
<br />
In synthesis of opposites <br />
We often find the answer,<br />
And i think fear of the whisper<br />
May be my mistake, my bane, my cancer.<br />
I reflect, sit quiet and reflect,<br />
As i muse on my history, my fears, my escapes,<br />
Potential pasts that i neglect,<br />
I need a turning in my soul.<br />
I have erected walls that none can breech<br />
Between the whisper and my life,<br />
Sometimes love is out of reach.<br />
<br />
A time dawns the lonely hunter<br />
Must own responsibility.<br />
My heart the source of the whisper<br />
I find inside, a culpability.<br />
But with the call, i live, i grow and i live.<br />
I search its subtleties, nuances, rhymes and reasons<br />
And there is nothing to forgive.<br />
This voice, my friend companion,<br />
It has been open, guiding all along,<br />
It was my interpretation<br />
That was faulty and was wrong.<br />
<br />
So long i have been indecisive,<br />
Waffling, looking this way, that,<br />
Two steps toward the whisper, two back,<br />
Dancing both feet not in the love i’m at.<br />
With lovers i twirl, i dance and twirl,<br />
As excuse i use the whisper to keep my distance<br />
Not cracking the shell for the pearl. <br />
But this separation is false,<br />
I see now the traps of my own devise<br />
That have kept me moving, guessing<br />
Failing to be truly wise.<br />
<br />
Indecision moves within me<br />
And i always vacilate<br />
Between these roles i have made,<br />
These complex categories i create.<br />
Ideas have power, massive power<br />
That shapes, creates, molds, transforms the very way we think<br />
Our realities devour.<br />
My own ideas my enemies<br />
That subtle soft conspire to undo me<br />
And lead me hither and yonder<br />
To conundrums willingly.<br />
<br />
But all of this is illusion,<br />
A philosophical game,<br />
When i truly hear the whisper<br />
There is no need for confusion and shame.<br />
In my time, in my life, in my time<br />
This long enduring, winding, weaving, endless journey<br />
The whisper says all will be fine.<br />
That’s been the secret all along,<br />
It’s just as simple, has been from the start,<br />
That the truth is not some secret<br />
That is hidden from my heart.<br />
<br />
It is a long, long time ago<br />
And the animals can speak.<br />
I feel something like a whisper<br />
From a grove i approach humbly and meek.<br />
That call, and indeed it is a call<br />
Is alluring, enticing, a light within my soul,<br />
That voice is everywhere and all.<br />
I can hear it now, clear as day<br />
From within me and without, all around<br />
Ever present and answering<br />
It’s with my destiny bound.tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-62853272975207198622014-10-07T11:45:00.001-07:002014-10-07T11:45:18.573-07:00Stewardship<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2aP7A3qRQlc/VDQtzEoMcUI/AAAAAAAAAK4/G2k1IJHB2-o/s1600/2007_shaman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2aP7A3qRQlc/VDQtzEoMcUI/AAAAAAAAAK4/G2k1IJHB2-o/s320/2007_shaman.jpg" /></a></div><br />
"Our minds are made up of the animals we have attended." ~I believe this is from Robert Bringhurst<br />
<br />
We tend to love the underdog in occupation stories. In the movie Independence Day we humans come together and fight off the vastly superior technological force from outer space that is trying to wipe us out and take over our home. We set aside all disbelief that we could make a virus for their super advanced computers that will wipe them out. In War of the Worlds the alien invading species is wiped out by disease that they have no way of coping with. We like those stories. But in the real world that is not really what we support. Our vastly superior technological weapons have swept over the globe, pushing out of the way by whatever means of genocide or biological warfare we can muster the Native aboriginal peoples that are in our way. Progress must progress after all. It is usually the invading species that wipes away the indigenous species with their disease by the way. What should happen, by all logic and karmic reasons when the aliens or angels or monsters arrive, is that we should be wiped away without a trace. By our own moral system, as we actually live it, not by what we profess, but by what has transpired over human history, these superior species are within their rights to push us out of the way and wipe us out as pests in the way of progress. <br />
<br />
We still act this way. We act as if we are the only species that matters in the Earth. There are times when death is necessary in the cycle of things. I am not a vegetarian or a pacifist, and i do believe the fact that i am alive gives me the right to eat. But, that being said, there is a way to go about that with respect. I do not for example eat veal. That is to me simply the torturing of an animal just because we find it yummy. I have the right to eat, but not to disrespect and flaunt my power in a way that tortures the beings that are lower down on the food chain. Aboriginal people knew this and they treated the animals and the plants that they ate with respect, because in a hunting world view, the food you eat is a gift from related beings. You go out in the woods and wait for the food to come to you on its time. That changes with farming and domestication of animals. We put the animals in fences and they become a commodity. They are no longer the free acting agents of their own will capable of giving you a gift... they are property. <br />
<br />
As i said, there are times when death is necessary. We need to eat energy to survive and eating of animals and plants is part of the cycle and the natural order of things. But, there are certain things that should occur in that cycle. We should treat these beings with respect. It does not matter whether or not they have a soul or are as smart as we are, what matters is whether or not they are capable of suffering. A good hunter will only take a clean kill. Ultimately that leads to better and more healthy food as well. An animal that suffers when it dies for longer periods of time has higher levels of stress hormones and unhealthy elements in its meat. I am not saying this is why we should be respectful, but it is a side effect. We should be respectful because it is the right thing to do. We are at the top of the food chain and have a responsibility to the animals in that cycle with us. <br />
<br />
Sometimes we need to kill animals for other reasons besides food. Sometimes, they are suffering. I remember holding my cat Ninja as the heart beat and breath slowly left his body when we put him to sleep. He had gone from a 14 pound muscular and sleek hunter of the night, to a 6 pound shell that had pain when he walked and could not keep his food down. I wept. He was my friend and my teacher and i was there with him in his last moments those many years ago. He purred. I could feel it as surely as i could hear it as he left this adventure and went on to the next one. We laid his body in a place of honor and there is moss and roses growing there now. His body has fed them and the cycle continues.<br />
<br />
Recently, i saw an animal that had rabies killed. It needed to be done i guess. However, there was laughter and video taping and the whole thing was treated as a joke. It may have been necessary, but it should never be taken lightly. Not only that, the initial "kill" with a shovel or pitch fork did not succeed and about 5 minutes later they realized the animal was still alive and trying to move about. I was filled with rage. My people, my species bothers me on many occasions and our disregard for the other beings we share this planet with is where it is probably at its greatest. <br />
<br />
We are a part of the great cycle, the great dance of life on this living orb that hurtles through space and time. We have minds capable of so much and thumbs that allow our thoughts to be made reality in the world around us. We need to take care of these beings. We know as children how important animals are to our psyche with the stuffed animals and the wonder children see in their pets and any encounter with an animal in the outside world. The next time you eat, say grace. Say it to a divine power if you wish, but also, and i think more importantly, say thank you to the being that put on its fleshy coat for awhile so that you may survive. It is a gift, it is grace. Acknowledge that handshake that you are given from your other than human kin that haunt the forests and the fields all around us. Say thank you to your cat, your dog, your snake or your gold fish even. They teach us about our humanity. There is a reason why serial killers usually start with animals. The killing of humans later is related, because we are all related,all the two-legs, the four-legs, the wings of the air and the gills of the sea. Get excited when you see a wild animal intrude upon the teflon coated world we live in. It is amazing. Business as usual happens in the woods. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-82073948066413719322014-09-14T16:54:00.001-07:002014-09-14T16:54:44.911-07:00The Kingdom of Heaven is at Hand<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3ieGgy1hCGc/VBYnl87a5iI/AAAAAAAAAKo/02_0ZvcNGzU/s1600/AngelChoir.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3ieGgy1hCGc/VBYnl87a5iI/AAAAAAAAAKo/02_0ZvcNGzU/s320/AngelChoir.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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I was in a tent the other night and i listened, really listened to the chorus that was going on all around me. I was struck that i had not heard that song in a long time, probably months. The problem is not with the chorus, but with i, the listener. I used to journey into the woods behind my parents' house, my childhood home, almost every night to sit in awe of that song and hear the ancient and primal wisdom that those peoples of the night speak of. But, we get busy and distracted and we forget what is important. But that night, i listened with the ears of a worshipper to that song. <br />
<br />
I truly believe that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. It is all around us and our forms and illusions are broken down in the embracing darkness of the night. We can understand things there when we get beyond the pollution of the street lamps and the computer screens. Our form is an illusion of the daylight according to Loren Eiseley, and in the darkness of a forest, we begin to melt into the universe. <br />
<br />
What is expected of Heaven? Angels singing eternal praise to the Almighty? They are there. That is them. The chorus of the woods is that angel choir. Peepers, crickets, bullfrogs, katydids, all the people of the forest open their throats and sing of primal things, beauty that surrounds and explodes in a cacophony of praise and Thanksgiving. My soul is eased when i get out there and listen. Our stories are small in the scope of that song. It is beautiful and when i sit alone in the woods and the darkness, i am part of it. Sometimes i can not help but open my throat and allow the swelling chorus to rise up out of my own lungs. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-89212135880439649452013-11-23T14:58:00.000-08:002013-11-23T14:58:12.893-08:0030 thingsThere was a really cool event on Facebook that is happening this month. November's 30 Days of Thanksgiving. The idea is that every day you post something that you are thankful for throughout the whole month of November. Great idea and i signed on. Problem is, i get really flighty and so have missed a lot of days. I actually think i only posted once and i will again once i get this blog done. So, what i figured i would do was write this blog with thirty things that i am thankful for in honor of all of those who have been diligent in posting their items of grace each day so far. <br />
<br />
So, in no particular order, here are my thirty things that i am thankful for:<br />
<br />
1. Best parents ever. Totally supportive even when they don't understand. Could not have asked for more.<br />
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2. All of the events and history of my life that has led me to this place i am in today. Life is pretty awesome. I get to perform, teach martial arts and own a Renaissance Faire. Truly blessed and lucky.<br />
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3. A freezing stream and waterfall in Oregon that gave me my true baptism.<br />
<br />
4. Calvin Martin and Bruce Wilshire who gave me a basis for my philosophy on life.<br />
<br />
5. Bruce Lee and Dan Inosanto for the philosophy of Jeet Kune Do. This has given me my passion and purpose and many times, it has given me a job.<br />
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6. All of the students i have ever had who have taught me more than just about anyone else.<br />
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7. Cheryl, Elise, Bethany and Shelli for teaching me exactly what i needed to know about love at exactly the right time.<br />
<br />
8. My Sister the Moon and my Brother Orion<br />
<br />
9. The Appalachian Mountains<br />
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10. The beautiful Delaware River<br />
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11. The Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire. That place has given me the best times and people of my life. Think about it, i bet there are a lot of us on this Facebook event and reading this right now who, if you really think about it feel the same way. Truly magic.<br />
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12. Rick Tucci, Alex Wilkie, Master Martin, Craig Stanton, Ron Kosakowski, Mr. Kirkpatrick... my direct martial arts teachers who really transformed my life. <br />
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13. Jim Georgi and Mary Karl, my fellow TA's for Calvin Martin at Rutgers, i am really thankful i got to be a part of that team<br />
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14. New Jersey. That is right New Jersey. I love NJ and that is my home.<br />
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15. Ninja the cat. My Grandfather and teacher, wisest animal i have ever know for a long period of time and he taught me much in our walks in the darkness. He gave me many lessons on patience, enjoying every second and blade of grass and also on meditation.<br />
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16. Andy Pritikin. Thankful for the home he has given us for the NJ Ren Faire.<br />
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17. Liberty Lake Day Camp. Thankful to have been accepted into the family and to have a place to share my knowledge and skills with the next generation of young martial artists and actors of the world.<br />
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18. Pizza<br />
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19. John Williams. Best sword fighting partner ever and always reminds me about what it is like to live a life of joy<br />
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20. The angel choir of the night, all the spring peepers, crickets and bull frogs that sing constant praise to the divine<br />
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21. The fact that i was able to know all of my grandparents and 5 of my great-grandparents<br />
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22. Ginny Bartholomew for giving me the inspiration to finish my book<br />
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23. Dana Andresen for being an awesome, albeit high maintenance BFF<br />
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24. Eileen Wisor, best friend of all time and long lasting as well<br />
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25. Seth and the Hilburn clan for accepting me into their family <br />
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26. Mike Brown and Rob Kiernan for years of friendship<br />
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27. Dungeons and Dragons. I know i am a geek, but this game really had a lot of influence and taught me a lot. Again, i know i am a geek.<br />
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28. Shelli Nock for reminding me what it means to be a super hero<br />
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29. The Adventurer's Guild and all of the adventurers we have met who have embraced what the Lords of Adventure is all about<br />
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30. Thankful for being born in the time and place that i was. You know, really i can't complain about anything and i am thankful for that too. Sometimes when people ask me how i am and i say i can't complain, the response is, "would not do you any good anyway." But that is not why i say it. I really have nothing to complain about. If i had my choice of any life that i could live, it would be this one. I am deeply deeply grateful for every single moment of this little life i have been given.<br />
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Happy Thanksgiving everybody. Be blessed and be thankful for what you have. tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-3897576109695845292013-11-02T14:42:00.000-07:002013-11-02T14:42:10.107-07:00A Close and Present Darkness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KdIo9siiX0A/UnVsr9MJyOI/AAAAAAAAAKE/5jMzCnPPFek/s1600/night-and-cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KdIo9siiX0A/UnVsr9MJyOI/AAAAAAAAAKE/5jMzCnPPFek/s320/night-and-cat.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<i>"Moses drew near the thick darkness where God was."</i> ~Exodus 20:21<br />
<br />
The title of this blog may inspire images of a horror film to some of you. Not to me. I realized that i should clarify my view of the darkness after i published my last book, <i>The Same Way Home.</i> My mom asked me about a quote in the book, something along these lines, <i>"When we love, truly and get beyond our ego we approach the thick darkness where God is."</i> The quote from the Bible inspired that kind of language and i have always thought that was a beautiful image. When my mom asked about it though i realized everyone does not feel the same way. We tend to think of darkness as negative and i feel like that is a shame and a disservice to the night much in the same way as our images of bats and wolves are a disservice to those beautiful animals. <br />
<br />
The light is amazing, let me say that first. We are creatures made out of stars and we basically need to eat light to survive. For the most part i feel that we should shed our light upon the world. But, that does not mean i feel that the darkness is a negative either. Some of my most spiritual moments have been out in the woods at night. I used to walk, almost every night, out beyond the hedge row behind our house in New Egypt, NJ, into the fields and woods beyond the reach of the street lights with my various cats and just exist out there. It was absolutely amazing and had a lot to do with shaping who i am in relation to the spiritual side of our lives. <br />
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Loren Eisley said that our forms are an illusion of the daylight. It is so true. Light gives us our shape and form and in the surrounding darkness of the night we melt and blend with the surround. It can be terrifying to be in a place where your sense of sight basically leaves you cold. Other older more primal senses begin to take the front seat. There have been nights when out of fear i have fled back to the warm embrace of the lights of my house. But, on those nights when i could relax, and let go of my ego, i felt more welcome and at home than i ever did in a crazy party somewhere. I have always been impressed that when i listen to the bullfrogs and spring peepers, crickets and other members of that great chorus that sings on at all times in the night beyond our villages, that they comprise an angel choir that sings forever exalted praise to the Divine. That chorus can sweep you along in its current and when we get past our fear, our ego can dissolve into the greater story of life living itself that we are all a part of. It is intense and it is meditation. The darkness is full of God, whatever that may mean to you. <br />
<br />
Stillness so thick<br />
it tingles on the skin<br />
like static.<br />
Its presence resonates<br />
with the pregnancy of meaning.<br />
Silence oozes through<br />
the chambers of my being.<br />
I am invaded by a moment<br />
that is not a unit<br />
but a meditation.<br />
A meditation on matters<br />
so grave and primal<br />
God has not yet dreamt them.<br />
The pauses between beats<br />
of music and ticks and tocks of time,<br />
flows, expanding, growing.<br />
The moment envelopes and embraces.<br />
Only a soft murmur<br />
touches the still;<br />
shhh!<br />
Softer.<br />
A tiny drum beat;<br />
organic.<br />
It melts into the Surround,<br />
as natural as the silence.<br />
My own heart.<br />
It is disturbing,<br />
like a child’s cry in church.<br />
Only egos cringe.<br />
The All accepts.<br />
Silence welcomes sound,<br />
a blank slate<br />
for painting words and chants,<br />
drums and strings,<br />
and small animal hearts.<br />
Equal part and parcel<br />
with occasional goose or rustling leaf.<br />
He is the tempo of the slow chorus<br />
that is the night.tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7451967221153854329.post-38811658237902440362013-10-11T17:29:00.000-07:002013-10-11T17:29:07.536-07:00"The way is in the training." ~Musashi<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ts8rqlXnYE8/UliSeWjA-hI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/W80ZRsChM-8/s1600/Training.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ts8rqlXnYE8/UliSeWjA-hI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/W80ZRsChM-8/s320/Training.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<i>"If someone asked me what a human being ought to devote the maximum of his time to, i would answer, 'Training.' Train more than you sleep."</i> ~Masutatsu Oyama<br />
<br />
I was fortunate some time ago, i believe i was in college at the time, to read the book <i>Living the Martial Way</i> by Forrest E Morgan. One of the chapters in that book was about training like a warrior trains and it is from that chapter that i learned the quote above. His point was that if one wishes to be a warrior one must train as a warrior does. He suggested six days a week and a lot. I took this lesson to heart and started at that time keeping a journal of my work outs. It was at this period that i started using my heavy bag with religious fervor. I would do round after round, every day and it has continued until this time. I like to do a base of eight three-minute rounds every day to keep up my cardio and fitness so that i can do whatever i want and not have to worry about fatigue stopping me. That is the base so i don't really count that as part of my work outs. On top of that i add resistance training, skill building, running and the like. The point is, after reading that book, training to me became as important as eating, breathing, working, etc. In short, it is a priority.<br />
<br />
Training for me involves martial arts and fitness because that is my passion. It goes beyond that though. I am also a bit of a skill junky so i also like to practice new things i learn. I noticed early on that it is easy to put things off. Many people want to do things and then wait on starting them and in that waiting, years can pass. You never know how much time you have so if you wish to work on something get at it. <br />
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Training is how we forge ourselves. We have to practice things and this goes beyond skills or talents. We also need to train ourselves to be the people we want to be. In philosophy class at Rutgers with Professor Bruce Wilshire we talked about a philosopher who escapes me that said you had to practice to be a moral person. I practiced things like not cursing, and not having an age. It took some time but i was able to shape that. I also practiced looking at the world in a positive way. These things are not easy and they take time but you can train yourself. We have the capacity to look at ourselves objectively. In the same way that i can use a mirror to see that i am not keeping my hands up when i fight, i can start to try to notice when i allow negative thoughts to begin to dominate my outlook. You can also notice when you send negative words or posts out into the universe. First step is to notice, then don't say or put the negative thing out there. It takes practice and it is difficult, but so is anything that is worth while. <br />
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I know that some will look at this and say, "this is not possible for me." I do believe that anything is possible and the first step is just not to say that. Don't make the words actual in the universe. Even if you don't believe it, make a conscious effort to say that it is possible. Words have power. Those of you who are my actor friends know how powerful your words and acting choices can be. <br />
<br />
I was playing a charcater at the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire named Hans Talhoffer, a historical fight master and my friend was the Duke of Northumberland named Harry Percy. He came to me on the streets one day and said that he was tired. From the truth of that character i turned to him and said, "Hans and Percy never tire!" We then, for the rest of the season made the character choice that those characters do not get tired. It worked. We ran around like mad men and have been doing so ever since. At some point i realized, that if i could do that for a character at the Renaissance Faire, i could do it in real life too. I made a character choice for myself that i never tire, and for the most part, it works. <br />
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It took training, it took practice, but it works. In the early days i would have to tell myself when i started to run down that i never tire. At first, it was me acting, not going to lie, but our thoughts have power. After awhile, my body believed it. <br />
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Train adventurers! Find your passion and practice it. If there is something that you want to change about your situation, some skill you want to learn, do it. Choose to be a hero and you will be. Sometimes we are not yet ready to make that choice, but from experience, it is possible.tjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15588985582848286133noreply@blogger.com1